just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Randomize
