Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
