It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
