Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
