i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
