Pappa wants mamma naked
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
