My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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