I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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