the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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