I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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