That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
