Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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