From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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