i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm like, not good at living.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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