The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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