That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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