Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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