Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
