in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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