so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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