I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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