I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
two words...techno handjob
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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