need another drink. this is the easiest way
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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