Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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