i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
