I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Randomize