Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Rumble strips road head = magical
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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