Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
