census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Found your dick twin last night
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
