I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
