I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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