Can i not drive my cunt home
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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