3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
