New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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