i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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