that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
