apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
