So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
