A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
