I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
