i jhust puked up my retainher.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.