hotel room ftw
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
