Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize