I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
