You can't motorboat a personality
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
