I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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