The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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