i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
