wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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