I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
