office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
