We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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