I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
