i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
