Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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