Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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