She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
we should paint friendship bongs
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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