What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
