Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Panties = found
Randomize
