i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
